Sunday, 13 May 2018

A Plethora of Ideas about the Future of Work in India

Hello folks,

Today's blog is a Fictional Satire set in the Indian context of the Future of Work, especially to answer the currently hypothetical but futuristically real question :

"What will happen to jobs after near or total Automation?"

I present to you solutions by different political and entrepreneur groups:

1. Congress: Let us all Spin the Charkha! Bapuji told us long time ago, he was a true visionary who saw this day was coming a century ago! Mahatma Gandhi ki Jai! Also, in the background we will play Gandhiji's favourite bhajan while we spin the charkha and do a kadi ninda of all the technologists who made us see this day! On second thoughts, lets not "play" the bhajan, let us sing and clap our hands, that way we will not have to use any of this Evil Technology.

All our past leaders have always opposed technology for this very reason! We strongly condemn this wave of automation technology in particular and technology in general which has cost us our jobs and unemployment is now at 100%. This country is now doomed under the present leadership of XYZ. Down with XYZ and Long Live Our Dynasty, oops we meant Party!

2. BJP (Tech Entrepreneurs): What If we put a generator on each and every charkha and feed the electricity back to the grid? We would solve the employment problem and the electricity generation problem in one stroke! We'll pay 1 Rupee per hour of work on the charkha, hard work will be rewarded and harder work will be rewarded harder!

Also, since this will become commoditized service and there will be growing demand for such charkhas by unemployed folks the supply of workers will keep rising and as the demand of electricity will remain constant rates are projected to eventually fall to 10 paise/hour. Cheap and clean power to the people!

3. Software Services Moguls: Let's put out an advertisement for 300,000 jobs tomorrow! Lets Buy land in Hinjewadi, set up a Charkha Centre with 300,000 charkhas! We will pocket the 1 Rupee/Hour given by the electricity company and payout 35 paise/Hour rate per employee for their highly valued and passionately provided services! And rates are projected to fall eventually, so let us have a clearly defined Exit Policy as well (Oops! For non performers we meant) Let us also start an industry body called CHARKHACOM to lobby (bully) the government agencies to agree to our demands. After all we are generating much needed employment for the youth of this country and we deserve our share of the pie (pound of flesh). Let us also start an open to all forum where some of our senior leaders mentor youth on Entrepreneurship and Leadership in Technology(????)!

"Technology" is the solution to our problems and India will become the next Technology Superpower within exactly 25 years! ~Official Release by CHARKHACOM!

Now for the list of demands:

1. We will need a fully automated train from Hinjewadi to the city.
2. Tax sops!
3. Padma Bhushan Awards for Our beloved Industry Pioneers!
4. etc. (we'll make this up as we go along)

4. Rashtrawadi:
Did someone just say LAND? Saathiyon Rath Nikalo, Hinjewadi me nayi___________ aayi hai!!!

5. Left Front:
Bhookh Hartal! (Actually, at this point they steal a line from a BJP PM) "Na hum khud khayenge na hum kisi ko khaane denge!"

Hamari mange puri karo, warna kursi khali karo! Down with Automation! Down with Technology! (Sound of charkhas crashing and burning in the background and a sight of hands waving red flags....manually)

Jo humse takrayega, woh mitti me mil jayega (veiled warning to dissenting non-union employees and contractors who report to work)

6. Aam Aadmi Party (AAP)
( In a squeaky voice) Sab mile hue hai jee! Mere paas sab saboot hai! Bijli ka bill maine hi kam karwaya hai! Muze vote de do mai ek ek ko theek karke rakh doonga!

7. Parents of (now unemployed) Youth:
We told you to choose Medicine instead of Engineering, but you did not heed our advice!

Thanks for laughing readers! As for for those who cried after reading this sordid view of the future in this country, my vote goes to you!

~Milind K. Thombre
(An Idle Man In a Workers Paradise)

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